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An attempt to read a hideously awful passage from some cheesy romance novel. Here is the passage, since I couldn’t contain my laughter and you may not know what is being said:
…Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which was seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
My Amazon order came today. And the library had 3 books + a movie for me. Today is a fantastic day.
Insurgent by Veronica Roth
Cabin in the Woods novelization by Tim Lebbon
Cabin in the Woods visual companion
Fever by Lauren Destefano
Angels Crest by Leslie Schwartz
The Ritual by Adam Nevill
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
I’ve been hanging out on my personal Tumblr a lot, obsessing over a new celebrity I like. And reading. Lots of reading going on, too.
The library finally got it in! I am the FIRST person to check it out. *feels honored* It’s so new and bright and shiny and lovely. Gonna read it again(already read Fear as an ebook) and then redo my entire review. Huzzah!
dollyisme replied to your post: Argh! So mad! The seller on Amazon that I ordered…
Uggh, how annoying that they just cancelled it!
I know, right?! But after the order was canceled, my money was returned. Plus, I got a $15 gift card to add to it, so I just ordered Insurgent through Amazon, as well as two other books. Free shipping! lol
Now if Amazon would hurry up and mail them out…
Argh! So mad! The seller on Amazon that I ordered Insurgent from never bothered to mail out the book. Instead, they canceled my order. But I did get a $15 amazon gift card yesterday, so after adding that in, I have $32.25 or something like that in my account. Guess if I can find something else to order that will put it over $25, I get free shipping. And no worrying about some loser seller not sending me what I ordered.
What a strangely disturbing book. If you like graphic horror, I’d suggest this one.
Now I’m reading Dust by Joan Frances Turner.
